Starting Over

How many times have you failed in your life at a goal or objective you're trying to achieve???

Seriously!!!

How many times???

I know for myself I been trying to start my online business and I have failed at following up with my tasks and goals to make my online business a success so many times.

I'm very harsh and critical on myself when I don't succeed at what I want to achieve. Does that sound like you?

Today I had to take a step back and really think about what I'm dong and what I want to achieve with my business MyGaiaStyle.

Originally when I started out on this venture in 2017 it was to start a Tarot Reading business and over the last two years since I began it has evolved, morphed, and changed.

Now I'm on a new mission. I wanna share my experiences with others who need a starting point or guidance on where to begin to start living a better life.

Life is not easy.  We all been in the trenches trying to survive and ultimately find a better outcome or solution for ourselves. However it can seem daunting and discouraging when we are not able to meet nor complete the most simplest tasks on our way to success.

Please know that I'm rooting for you. Don't give up.

At this current time of typing this blog post up I'm sitting in the public library where I'm currently located at. 

I just went through some mayhem with a family member that caused me to delay a lot of things I had planned for myself. But you know what this is life and shit happens.

But I'm still trudging on.

At this time of this entry...
I gained 43lbs since beginning this venture - I"m overweight. I'm 283lbs, when I began I was only 240lbs.  I'm literally here sacrificing my health for this to work.
I don't have a car - I technically have an unreturned rental from the company I was working for that needs to go back.
I don't have a stable job - But I'm grateful that I have manage to keep this on-demand app job that allows me to get by, however it's not enough to keep me stable nor sustain my business activities.
I don't have a home - I took a major risk last year and it cost me big time. I had to move back in with my mother and rebuild from scratch. I met more obstacles and setback but somehow managed to overcome them. But it still sucks knowing that I don't have my own place to call a home. I got some friends letting me stay with them however I feel like I"m intruding. This week I be spending most of my time in my car as I work my grocery delivery job to make money however it's a little far from where my friends live so I be spending the night in my car. You gotta do what you gotta do.

But through out all of this. My spirit has yet to be broken.  But that's not say my spirit, my willpower, my core being has not been tried and tested. I've cried, I criticize and undermine my actions and been really hard on myself. 

But the old saying goes " what ever don't break me make me stronger".

Through out all of this, I do feel very lonely and sad that I don't have someone to go through the high's and low's with. I yearn for some companionship. However I know that if i keep on working on myself and aiming to better myself that I will succeed and achieve what I want.

My goal is to attain all the things that will make me proud of myself more important than being happy. 

But in order to do this, I must focus, I must concentrate, I must discipline myself, and keep my eye on the end goal and not get deterred.

This takes me to my next blog post. What is my mission for MyGaiaStyle.